Comming on the morning of a saturday wake,
Weeping and distress as they regret their hate.
Seeing and believing is how they negate,
Showing no belief as they've chosen their fate.

Nooo....

I'm calling out to whoever hears
Please shine a light upon my ear.
My voice cries out
And all there is only doubt.
I'm calling out to You.

Upon that morning as the sky sheds away,
Leaving all the bodies out to decay.
I turn and just walk that way,
Seeing as my faults lead me out to dismay.

Nooo...

I walk alone in that place,
Watching everyone lift up their face.
Liars and cheater and almost two-faced,
Why won't anyone listen for goodness sakes?

I'm calling out to whoever hears
Please shine a light upon my ear.
My voice cries out
And all there is only doubt.
I'm calling out to You.

The time your repentance should be near,
Day after day as the Christians hear.
Seeing it be done that the Lord we should fear,
That the pain we recieve could only be mere.

Yeaaahh...

Drop your holds!
Leave it all!
Come together as a unit of one!
Overcome the darkness we shall!!!!!!!!!!

I'm calling out to whoever hears
Please shine a light upon my ear.
My voice cries out
And all there is only doubt.
I'm calling out to You.
And You're calling out to me...

The way it drags me,
Showing no control.
It's like a force inside, see?
It's all motivation creating it's patrol.

Motivation is what seems to get each and everyone of us throughout every day. Whether it's during something boring or even something fun. It's what keeps us excited for whatever we set ourselves to wait for.
It could be to see someone.
It could be to go somewhere.
Whatever the case may be, it can also fail us.
When the time comes that our motives fail, it hurts and you search for another motive, even without you knowing.
It's gambling with your life.

I have searched and I have found my motive.
Eternal life and happiness in a kingdom of beautiful perfection awaits me in the days after that come.
If that's not motivation than I don't know what is.
It's the only thing I know that won't fail unless I ruin it with MY actions.

Be wisdom your decision, for it could make you prosper or just fall in ruin.

The last time I had a single tear for you was when you had died.
Now you haunt my every memory

Please stop...

These tears fall,
It's been awhile now,
Since you died.
You still walk down that hall,
Where we once exchanged our vow,
Together forever was how you lied.

This will be my first mobile post.

It's been awhile and not much has been going on. The sense of lonliness has shown it's true colors and I think I'm finally able to bear it.

People tend to find me boring after awhile, not as much fun anymore. Why?
I'm always helping people, giving almost my all.
I'm just a kid.
I'm as nice as I try to be, even when I'm down.
I'm constantly now being pushed aside as a side dish. I'm their back-up.
I wish people cared as much as I did. But is that asking for too much?

I never hate anyone even if they destroy me from the inside out. I hate that.
I'm not "cool"
I'm not "fun"
I'm not "important"
People act as if I were their parents.

You could be the meanest person in the world and if you asked me for help or even a dollar, I would give it to you.
And to anyone who hasn't asked I am sorry I havn't reached out to you. I try to make everyone happy even when I'm not. Know that I have never ignored you.

But in all honesty, I'm starting not to care about my situation. I'm not asking you or you to change.
I'll always be here and you'll always be far from me even though you could only be 2 feet away.

Mr. Lonely?

For some strange reason, I never have a title for any of my posts until I've finished writing the post. Hmm, who knows.

So this week has been interesting, full of a lot of good and hurtful truth. My dad once told me, and so has Jesus,

"When you realize that you have to be alone to best serve God, you will see Him move in your life the most."

This I know, I saw it coming the first time I had read Matthew.
People who I thought were my close friends, turn out to be quite the opposite. So why do I continue to love them while they don't feel the same? Is it because of my spiritual maturity in Christ now? I'm not sure.

I may be classified as isolated, less talkative, boring, etc because of my maturity.
Isolating myself from secular conversations.
Less goofy/talkative because of the seriousness I take from my leadership role.
Being a leader is hard work.
Being a disciple is hard work.
Serving God is hard work.

I find myself alone.
Yes I have friends and yes I have people that care about me sincerely.
I'm alone spiritually, minus God.

God provided Adam with a companion because he knows that man cannot be alone. Men (and women) need someone there by there side no matter what kind of love. Friendship, wife, family.
There's only a select.
Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful people in my life in which to all I love sincerely, but I guess that's just me.

I feel better.
My God is here with me.
That's Who I will ever need.
Thank you.
And thank you to all of my friends who are in my life and to those who were, for somehow God has used you to shape me.

A Story of a Dissident and its Agressors

Once upon a time, there was this kid and there were these other kids...

These kids call the kid weird,

Call the kid names.

But all he could do is what he had feared,

Putting all the kids to their own shame.

Faggot, fag!

Is what he heard.

Just wanting to hide in his own bag

In a place he could call home.

Mutiny had shown its flag,

The words dig deep coming from his own.

His opinion does not matter.

For we stick to selfishness and pride,

Climbing higher and higher on their own ladder.

For all that is significant is which side, is your side.

The End.