Who dares to change in a changing world?

As humans, we change so fast and we don't even know it.
I don't on the other hand understand how feeling towards something can change so fast.
One day you feel this way...
The next day you don't....ignorant?

I'm done trying to pretend in my head that people don't change and move on so fast. That there's a single hope in someone to stick by you.
I'm done.
Done with this world.
I'm with God.

In the past few months, these posts have been about the way of living and everyday struggle of my life. Now I hope you see that there is only one solution.
Bear with me and the hardships that we soon encounter together. For there is a big reward for those who are dilligent.

Now as I say goodbye,
I wish you good luck on your journey.
To find love with a Meaningful person who wouldn't see you as a crust of bread.

To see you...
Is to see the very example of the world we live in.

This feeling comes and goes.
I want a way out from it.
It's seems to be nothing I've caused, but what others have.

I love the guitar. It's the gateway of escape for my emotions. God is the only one who can and will always satisfy me. I just wished it worked the same with people.

I see you practically everyday, it makes it only 10x as harder to forget about you. I hate it.

And you Miss Different,
You seem better without me, I know you are.
I just want you safe and sound.

I think I'm just meant to be alone, like the monks?

Baha.
Dramatic.

Everything else is good,
If only things like Facebook didn't exist, I'm sure things would be slightly better.

Dear Father,
Restore my strength that is You,
Bring me redemption,
That to serve You is all I'd do.
Conform me.
People are just people,
That much greater is awaiting as far as the eye can see.
In Jesus name,
Amen.

Comming on the morning of a saturday wake,
Weeping and distress as they regret their hate.
Seeing and believing is how they negate,
Showing no belief as they've chosen their fate.

Nooo....

I'm calling out to whoever hears
Please shine a light upon my ear.
My voice cries out
And all there is only doubt.
I'm calling out to You.

Upon that morning as the sky sheds away,
Leaving all the bodies out to decay.
I turn and just walk that way,
Seeing as my faults lead me out to dismay.

Nooo...

I walk alone in that place,
Watching everyone lift up their face.
Liars and cheater and almost two-faced,
Why won't anyone listen for goodness sakes?

I'm calling out to whoever hears
Please shine a light upon my ear.
My voice cries out
And all there is only doubt.
I'm calling out to You.

The time your repentance should be near,
Day after day as the Christians hear.
Seeing it be done that the Lord we should fear,
That the pain we recieve could only be mere.

Yeaaahh...

Drop your holds!
Leave it all!
Come together as a unit of one!
Overcome the darkness we shall!!!!!!!!!!

I'm calling out to whoever hears
Please shine a light upon my ear.
My voice cries out
And all there is only doubt.
I'm calling out to You.
And You're calling out to me...

The way it drags me,
Showing no control.
It's like a force inside, see?
It's all motivation creating it's patrol.

Motivation is what seems to get each and everyone of us throughout every day. Whether it's during something boring or even something fun. It's what keeps us excited for whatever we set ourselves to wait for.
It could be to see someone.
It could be to go somewhere.
Whatever the case may be, it can also fail us.
When the time comes that our motives fail, it hurts and you search for another motive, even without you knowing.
It's gambling with your life.

I have searched and I have found my motive.
Eternal life and happiness in a kingdom of beautiful perfection awaits me in the days after that come.
If that's not motivation than I don't know what is.
It's the only thing I know that won't fail unless I ruin it with MY actions.

Be wisdom your decision, for it could make you prosper or just fall in ruin.

The last time I had a single tear for you was when you had died.
Now you haunt my every memory

Please stop...

These tears fall,
It's been awhile now,
Since you died.
You still walk down that hall,
Where we once exchanged our vow,
Together forever was how you lied.

This will be my first mobile post.

It's been awhile and not much has been going on. The sense of lonliness has shown it's true colors and I think I'm finally able to bear it.

People tend to find me boring after awhile, not as much fun anymore. Why?
I'm always helping people, giving almost my all.
I'm just a kid.
I'm as nice as I try to be, even when I'm down.
I'm constantly now being pushed aside as a side dish. I'm their back-up.
I wish people cared as much as I did. But is that asking for too much?

I never hate anyone even if they destroy me from the inside out. I hate that.
I'm not "cool"
I'm not "fun"
I'm not "important"
People act as if I were their parents.

You could be the meanest person in the world and if you asked me for help or even a dollar, I would give it to you.
And to anyone who hasn't asked I am sorry I havn't reached out to you. I try to make everyone happy even when I'm not. Know that I have never ignored you.

But in all honesty, I'm starting not to care about my situation. I'm not asking you or you to change.
I'll always be here and you'll always be far from me even though you could only be 2 feet away.

Mr. Lonely?

For some strange reason, I never have a title for any of my posts until I've finished writing the post. Hmm, who knows.

So this week has been interesting, full of a lot of good and hurtful truth. My dad once told me, and so has Jesus,

"When you realize that you have to be alone to best serve God, you will see Him move in your life the most."

This I know, I saw it coming the first time I had read Matthew.
People who I thought were my close friends, turn out to be quite the opposite. So why do I continue to love them while they don't feel the same? Is it because of my spiritual maturity in Christ now? I'm not sure.

I may be classified as isolated, less talkative, boring, etc because of my maturity.
Isolating myself from secular conversations.
Less goofy/talkative because of the seriousness I take from my leadership role.
Being a leader is hard work.
Being a disciple is hard work.
Serving God is hard work.

I find myself alone.
Yes I have friends and yes I have people that care about me sincerely.
I'm alone spiritually, minus God.

God provided Adam with a companion because he knows that man cannot be alone. Men (and women) need someone there by there side no matter what kind of love. Friendship, wife, family.
There's only a select.
Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful people in my life in which to all I love sincerely, but I guess that's just me.

I feel better.
My God is here with me.
That's Who I will ever need.
Thank you.
And thank you to all of my friends who are in my life and to those who were, for somehow God has used you to shape me.

A Story of a Dissident and its Agressors

Once upon a time, there was this kid and there were these other kids...

These kids call the kid weird,

Call the kid names.

But all he could do is what he had feared,

Putting all the kids to their own shame.

Faggot, fag!

Is what he heard.

Just wanting to hide in his own bag

In a place he could call home.

Mutiny had shown its flag,

The words dig deep coming from his own.

His opinion does not matter.

For we stick to selfishness and pride,

Climbing higher and higher on their own ladder.

For all that is significant is which side, is your side.

The End.

Step In Their Shoes

Ahh what a wonderful day. Day full of so many memories and sorrows. I could say a lot of the 17 days of the 17 years that this day has appeared.
Isn't it interesting how much more significant a day appears when we separate it as a special day and when something happens to ruin that day, we remember as if it were a special holiday like Labor Day.

Sometimes we don't realize how many problems people are dealing with each day even ask we walk by each other.
Everyday I walk down the halls of Central High School I listen to the conversations of other people, the great diversities of conversations and problems.
I just wish I could do something to help but in reality all I can do is get to know them, but to get one-on-one with everyone would be impossible.

I'm getting closer to people and at the same time I'm losing people. All for the better.
You and you just keep making my day. My inspirations to my lyrics.<3

This year seems promising.
God is really going to change this world upside down.
One soul at a time.

The Little Things

Silver steel strings,
Nice fine wood,
Hands.

So much can be said from a pluck of a string or a few strummed together.
I find it magnificent. It is one of the many wonders God has placed into our lives, such a small complex device. Kind of like our bodies? Yes.

We are very complex beings. More complex than a computer. And yet we don't even know it.

Ahh it's been a while. I rarely have time to go on here and make a post, it's a bummer.
You actually surprised me, even though I sensed you coming that day. I was in an indescribable mood. Angry and confused. Mostly shocked. I'm trying so hard not to judge but it's so hard not to knowing what you do now.
I hate looking you in the eye, because I see the you I once knew. But then I blink and I see the now you. It frustrates me.

I don't want you there but it's your home too no matter what.
I was stronger though this time.
I brushed it off as if it were dirt on my shoulders.
Yeah there was some residue but I ignored it. Ignored you.
I now pour out my feelings to God through my music I create. Good and bad but once I do, it's all out of me.
Just a wave tossed into the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
I've moved on. But you're still there. Just a residue, a stain.
But everyday Jesus comes in and cleanses me in renewal with His blood. A blood stronger than bleach being able to wipe away those stains in and on me.
Day by day, it comes closer and closer to being completely wiped away.

So I passed the DMV written test with one wrong but I failed the driving test.
It made me in the worst mood ever. I was so sure I was going to pass, but the little things killed me. It's always the little things, no matter where in life.
The little things..
They are the root, the core to the big things.

It all starts in the little things.