Why me?

Heart brokenness is something very hard to deal with.
Why?
Because it raises the emotions to like x100. People become angry, depressed, and grudgeful.

I was all of the above. Mainly, angry. I had the joy of the Lord but the love in me was destroyed. Everyone of my public school friends understand and even encourage me to be violent.
My family in church desires me to be on the high road.
It's what God wants.

It gets to the point that if I begin to curse, it's the worst thing in the world.

"Because you were swearing at me and stuff."

How do you expect a guy to react to someone they care deeply for and you've told them that you loved them every single day with all honesty.
What do you expect?
Expect me to come out and say "Oh don't worry about it, it's not a big deal."
Yeah. Not a big deal THAT YOU LIKE SOMEONE ELSE all of a sudden. Not a big deal.

I love sarcasm, it's like another language. But it's also a vice.
The way I've felt and am still feeling should be COMPLETELY normal. If it doesn't seem that way to you then there's something terribly wrong with you.

Because of God I didn't slap you that day.
Because of God I didn't yell at you that day.
Because of God I havn't used any physical violence on that boy.
Because of God I still have hope.

I leave your reputation alone so don't blame me, you ruined it yourself.
But now because your life is ruin, you try and ruin mine?
How stupid do you think I am having your friend come and attack me with things you would only know and aren't true. She was my friend too and you turn her against me so now she feeds lies to the public.

Why do people expect me to handle situations smoothly and with righteousness. I'm not perfect. Just like you.
I have God which conforms me.
I know I am a leader.
Why don't you go through what I went through and have me tell you not to do this, this, or that.
You fall into temptation easier.
Yes I am to blame.
Just take it easy on me.